Arrived from Vancouver at midnight last night touching down 20 minutes late in YYZ due to late connections from Hong Kong. (We pushed back with 25 passengers still stuck in Vancouver customs or wandering the airport). Winds out of the north of 20 knots gusting to 35 knots greeted us for arrival on runway 05. Translation...we had a stiff crab on.
I used my usual bad joke by asking the first officer, "how does it go again, turn into the wind and use opposite rudder?" I got a faint grin out of him. Maybe he thought I was serious I had forgotten my crosswind technique?
It's up early to pick up my eldest from first year university, but not before I pop in at the Air Canada medical department to get a six month check up. My wife had to sit in the car while I had an overzealous doctor check me over. First, it's the eye test. Air Canada has a new device which uses numbers to read instead of letters. It wasn't a good sign when I read letters.
"Glasses must be available" will now be printed on license. "Glasses must be worn" are for those that can't see down the runway. For me, it's the approach charts at night giving me a challenge as of late. (I had the representative of Jeppeson charts visit the flight deck while on the ground in Denver a year ago. After receiving several trinkets, he asked if we had any comments or suggestions. I suggested the font on the taxi charts be much bigger. His response, "oh, you older guys always say that.")
My blood pressure was good. I elected to go off the pills a few years ago. Luckily she took the reading before I dropped my underwear to my ankles for the "cough" test. As well, she allowed me to skip the "finger" treatment.
We pick up our daughter after cleaning out her room where a tornado passed through and began our three hour return journey. After a late arrival and a few prior "red eyes,"fatigue crept into the picture. My daughter, fast asleep from partying late the night before, and with my wife's nose stuck in a book, I could feel a "controlled nap" coming on. Wait a minute, my BMW does not have an autopilot or anyone to tell, "you have control." I decided to pull off and get a coffee.
I pull off to a rest area. Drat, no Tim Horton's! I better get back on the highway. Wait a minute, there's a police cruiser over there parked along the off ramp. Captain Doug's eye's are still 20/20 for distance and I could see him looking my way. I made sure I did a complete stop. I signal left and proceed to the on ramp. Flashers with a crazed police officer jumping a median is in hot pursuit.
"Driver's license please!" Apparently, I turned left which was the wrong thing to do. Captain Doug was going down. This guy was in the lecture mode and my driver's license address and insurance address didn't jive. He returns in a few short minutes, only to say I could have received $110 fine for a "no left turn, $110 fine for an invalid license (people in Ontario you have SIX days to change it) and $110 for an invalid car registration plus two demerit points.
But he said, "congratulations on having a ticket free history." I asked him if I could shake his hand. That's how it ended. Some guys have cars that are "babe magnets," but my car as of late is a "police magnet." Time for a trade in.