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| My Son "sans" a team. Picture taken by my Blackberry should've bought an iphone. |
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| La Guardia on a "Good" day. |
Couldn’t avoid the Big Apple
The fact I dropped some flying (long layover in San Francisco) to attend the enRoute party had me short in hours. But, I didn’t have to fly because I had “time in the bank.” We can accrue up to twenty hours if we exceed the quota for the month. I have nine hours stored up.
Be it greed, the love of flying or just to get out of the house. I went on “make up.” I get a call asking if I want Newark, New Jersey across the way from the Big Apple. No thanks. Finally I’m awarded an easy jaunt to Ottawa and back. For two hours of flying I’ll get a minimum guarantee of 4:25. Sweet.
I had to drop my son off at the hockey rink as per “number one’s” request prior to work. She wanted him spooled up for the season and some organized shinny was available. The only glitch…no one showed. My son had an Olympic size hockey surface all to himself. A Canadian blasphemy!
I asked myself, “why am I going to work?” I could be out on the ice skating and bonding with my son. It was a Kodak moment seeing him growing up. I rush back to my car and grab the camera out of my flight bag. The battery was dead. Bloody camera. Perhaps an omen? I stayed a little longer than I should have causing me to be a few minutes tardy. Oops. Heck, it was only an Ottawa turn.
As soon as I walked in, I’m told, “Call crew sked!” Here we go.
“Doug, we need you to fly to LaGuardia instead of Ottawa.” And what did greedy captain D ask, “Is this a draft?” Translation, it’s now time and a half. Sweet. Maybe I can pay for all the new hockey gear I bought my son? (Luckily I brought my LGA charts) Usually I leave all my Caribbean and American charts at home to save on weight. But I always keep LaGuardia)
Crew sked told me I’m out in 20 minutes. I look at my watch (yes, the one with the amputated strap) and laugh. That isn’t happening with me having to go through American customs and security, find my F/O, find my gate and a plane. The adventure begun. I am told the F/O is there and he has everything done. You can see where this is going. J
I make it to the plane only to be greeted by the in-charge saying, “I got a flight attendant walking at 6:03. Not 6:00 p.m or 6:05 but three minutes after six she turns into a pumpkin. As a recent new hire (six months) she sure knew her rules and I admired her gumption.
I entered the flight deck. No F/O and there is datalink paper spewing all over the flight deck as if a kid unraveled a roll of toilet paper(tissue). The in-charge wants answers. But I have no F/O and no flight plan. A pilot without a flight plan is like an actor without a script. And a captain without an F/O is…lonely. I jokingly told operations I am looking for “my man…I am lonely.” Now maintenance appears, we have a potable water problem. A further delay and the in-charge keeps reminding me of the F/A wanting to walk. It’s hot in the cabin. I asked three times to have the air removed. These brand new high performance jetway conditioners need to be tweaked. They pump out hot air in the summer and cold in the winter.
I decided to do the walk around while I wait for the F/O. Half way through I realize I’m walking around a 321. The next thought is, the weather better be good because it’s not my favourite around thunderbumpers. Guess what much of the datalink was spewing out? Yup, weather warnings.
Finally my F/O arrives. He was told the flight was delayed two hours because of ground delays going into New York. He came off the Embraer so LGA was his second home. I offer the first leg and he graciously accepts. The doors close up and the F/A who wanted to bolt, stayed.
The weather warnings mentioned moderate to severe turbulence from FL 220 to FL 280. There had been numerous reports. Mother nature still hasn’t calmed down. This woman has been out of control lately. Women! :)
We check in with Cleveland center who gave us a heads up about the bumps. Then a shaken pilot comes on, they just got womped by severe turbulence. It sounded like he defecated in his pants. (another reason to bring extra uniform pants/trousers). LOL Not once in my entire aviation career did I report severe turbulence. But today it’s all around us. Mother Nature is psychotic.
Yes, we got bumps but much milder. Now we check in with Boston center. As I thought, New York is not taking any more planes. Many American airports are equivalent to a bees hive on a good day. With weather in the area, someone has taken a stick to a bee's nest.
Air Canada 7--, “ Are you ready for your holding instructions?” Here we go.
Our ‘expect further clearance’ is not for another 40 minutes. Plus they have us holding downwind of some nasty weather. We go around the race track once and I told them we will have to hold further east. They allow us. I impressed myself by programing a hold displaced 15 miles from the original fix. The ride is rough as we are cleared to lower levels. Then ATC decides to vector us, taking us very close to the weather, Then a vector right into the “convective mass.” I curtly told him, “I am ‘painting red’ on my radar, I don’t fly into red!” Silence. Actually someone made a snide remark. I ask myself, am I missing something here? Now our fuel is getting tight. The alternate is back to Toronto. I datalink dispatch to “tighten up our alternate” to buy some time. We can use Newark. Phew!
ATC did put us into some heavy showers and we quickly picked up an inch of airframe ice. I had enough! I told him MY plan. For you new pilots out there, learn to stand your ground. I fully understand ATC are trying to do their jobs and to be honest I don’t know how they do such a great job on a continual basis when dealing with the world’s busiest airspace.
I now and again flash back to my son skating alone in a huge rink telling myself...I don’t need this.
It's like a simulator session but this time it's a real airplane with real weather and real passengers.
Finally we are upwind of the weather, descend into above freeing temperatures, the ice is gone, New York City is in sight and we are cleared to land. My f/O greases the A321 on and we quickly come to a halt with “medium” autobrake. Now the wait for a gate and thoughts of the return flight.
We are flight planned at turboprop altitudes back to Toronto to avoid that moody
[email protected], but she still had her way with us a little just to show who’s boss.
I’m off to LAX tonight.
The life on an airline pilot.
